The message of Buddhism is of the interdependence and cause and effect of everything. One can see that this concept could be the perfect guide for a happy marriage. The couple who desires a healthful marriage knows that it isn’t about the man and it isn’t about the woman, it’s about the marriage.
The husband and wife who, rather than requiring what each needs, have agreed to work on what is beneficial to the marriage, may have an opportunity to make each happy and content.
In a world where individual rights are written into our US Constitution, the idea of give and take may take a back-seat to cooperation.
The advantage of two committed people working together for a common end is invaluable. The couple can decide who is the most effective money-earner, and divide the obligations accordingly. Or the couple can agree that both husband and wife should contribute monetarily, and to equally divide the remainder of the obligations.
When the welfare of the other is important and acted upon, the sexual life can be greatly enhanced. The gift of sexuality is seen as natural and beneficial when used with honorable and open intentions. When the healthy sexual life between 2 loving people is added to the mix of happiness within a cared-for marriage, self-realization for the husband and wife is possible.
The Western culture, with the focus on advertising of product and personality, has helped to cheapen the institution of marriage. People may enter into the partnership with a half-expectation of a circus atmosphere. One-upsmanship may seem normal. Husbands may be seen as ineffectual bumblers and wives may be pictured as self-centered tyrants; or vica versa.
The choice for the description of marriage rests with each couple. Making one’s decisions based on values rather than reaction is only an extension of the process of the person who is working toward enlightenment using the path of the Buddha.
Many marriages are as internally competitive as the culture within which we live. A different approach could provide a surprisingly pleasant result.
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